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Inside the pocket of a clown
Is a sad place to hang around
Just watching smiles turn into frowns
Inside the pocket of a clown

(yeah, youtube won’t let you rock out here, but go there, watch the cool video and then return here for the rest of my rhetoric…)

So maybe in hindsight, perhaps not the best opener to talk about the Circus, but dang I do love that song and I do love me some Dwight. But anyways…

The Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Zing Zang Zoom Circus pops the big tent next month and I’m certain it will be filled with happy, pocket-free clowns the whole family can enjoy.  And thanks to Mom Central one lucky winner here gets to go with free tickets!  I have a family four pack of tickets for the opening night performance March 10th in Cincinnati at 7pm. 

To enter, simply leave a comment here and cross your fingers.  I will use random.org to draw the winner Monday, March 1st at 6pm, so get your entry in before then. 

I wish I could make you all winners but as you see above on the flyer, you can get discount tickets with the coupon code MOM at www.ticketmaster.com.

Disclaimer: Mom Central, in addition to providing the family four pack for my winner also has given my family tickets to the performance.

Let P in OHio show ya how…

It's all about the ATTITUDE

Oh, and the TALENT

Congratulations to Tela, commenter #1 for winning the two tickets to Yo Gabba Gabba when they hit Cincinnati in March.  See you there!

But wait! There’s more!! We have a runner up prize courtesy  of Yo Gabba Gabba’s promotion team! Commenter #3 – paigesmommy.  Hope Paige enjoys the tunes because you have won a Yo Gabba Gabba! Music is Awesome CD and the brand new Yo Gabba Gabba Birthday DVD!

This will be just the thing to get everyone ready for the next season of Yo Gabba Gabba, which premiers March 8th.  I’m so excited for new episodes as the reruns are basically haunting my dreams – P NEVER tires of them.  O to the OY!

The new third season will feature guest visits from Sarah Silverman (move over Jack Black as my favorite!), ANTHONY freakin’ Bourdain! (did you hear that Playgroupie?), Weird Al (my nephew loves him) and many more – including DEVO?  Hello?! Awesome.  The shows debut on Nickelodeon on Monday, March 8th at 10:30 am ET/PT.  So set those DVRs. I know we will!

Last night I scared my child and made her cry.  Today I’m walking around feeling like the worst mom, making myself cry through my shame and disappointment.

I went upstairs for the night and headed to the bathroom as I always do to take my birth control pill.  Like a moron, I must have left the little packet on the counter the night before without realizing it.  When I picked it up, one pill fell to the floor and another three were missing.  I knew P must have been messing with them, the question then became had she ingested the three missing pills.  I frantically searched on the floor, the tub, the toilet looking for them – nothing.  At that moment I was scared and certain she had eaten them – her curiosity is just so high these days.  What kind of terrible mother leaves pharmaceuticals where her toddler can get to them? I was equal parts mad at her, mad at me and riddled with fear on what could happen.

The things that ran through my head as I ran to her room to wake her are as ridiculous as they were terrifying – what if the pills screw up her hormones or her organs or worse…

I let my anxiety take over, woke her from a sound sleep and demanded answers.  Demanded answers from a three year old. She kept saying ‘I don’t know mommy, I forget mommy’, groggy and confused.  What must have been going through her head.  I’m awful.  Then I grabbed by her shoulders and shook her.  Shook my baby.  In that moment of rage and fear I wanted to shake the answers out or shake the pills out – I don’t know what I was thinking.  That is what scares me most of all – I was not thinking.

She started crying and I’ll never forget that look of disbelief in her eyes.  It was that look that smack me back into reality and I took a breathe.  What the hell was wrong with me?  I should be locked up – never ever ever shake a baby – those words running on repeat in my brain.  I wanted to take her in my arms and beg for her forgiveness, but I had to know if she had swallowed those damn pills.  I had to know if I should call an ambulance or drive her to the hospital, make her throw up.  Both of us crying now, I begged “Please dear God, just answer me P – did you take the pills?” Sniffling and still trembling she confessed that she hadn’t eaten them, she just played with them and threw them in the toilet.  And I believed her.  I’d shaken my baby girl to get the truth out of her – what kind of monster am I?  I scared her and I made her cry. I jeopardized her trust in me. I failed.

It was the worst three minutes of my life.

Once I pulled myself together, I called poison control.  A pleasant young man, Chad, working the late shift, reassured me that even if she did take the pills the effect would be minimal – an upset stomach perhaps, nothing more.  No need to panic, no need to worry.  Chad was too late for that advice.  Chad will never know, but these side effects will linger forever.  I shook my child, I lost control, I frighten the one person in the world I’m supposed to shield from all the nastiness.  I became the thing I dread most – someone who hurts my daughter.

After things calmed down, I let her climb into my bed just in case she did get sick.  Truth is I was desperate to be near her – desperate to fix the damage I did.  Her little eyes looking up at me, wanting to hop in like countless times before, but hesitant to believe me.  We laid there in silence for a while.  Both of us breathing heavy.  I wanted to reach out and cradle her in arms, rock her to sleep.  Take a step backwards and erase what I had done.  But there is no erasing it.  There is only the chance to learn from it.  To never let my fear and anger govern my actions and words towards my daughter.

The sane part of me knows that shake, though unforgivable, did not endanger P.  She probably gets more aggressive clowning around on the playground at preschool.  But the emotional part of me is consumed with failure, I know I crossed a line.  I never want my child to fear me.  And that is exactly what happened.

A few minutes passed and  I took P’s hand and kissed it gently.  “Mommy is so sorry. I’m so sorry I yelled and scared you and I’m so sorry I shook you. I’m so sorry.”

“Ok Mommy” and with that she rolled over kissed me.  In a room surrounded by darkness, somehow those little lips found mine.  We held onto each other – a tight squeeze that seemed to restart my broken heart.

These beautiful creatures are so quick to forgive.  Even when we least deserve it.  She woke this morning oblivious to what happened just hours before.  Who knows? She might even have thought it a dream…a nightmare.  We start anew and grow from this.  I feel wretched and unworthy of this tiny love of mine.  I’m glad she will forget about it, if she hasn’t already.  But I know I never will.

Very few mommybloggers are childless. 
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And because children are implied, if not required, before jumping into this craziness we call a community, we probably weren’t around in each others’ lives when we first started birthing our babies.  Which is sad. 
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How wonderful it would have been to be there when the first bits started blessing the MommyBits household or when Jennifer shopped ’round for her original Playgroup.  Ah, the bloating, the horrors of hemmorhoids, the open bars at the baby showers…
 
And I’m sure my pre-mommy months as well as that initial year with P would have been less stressed, more hilarious and ultimately more memorable had they been around. 
 
That is why I’m especially excited when I find out about new babies coming into our lives – OnceAMonthMom, 5DollarDinners, StretchingABuck, VelveteenMind,  and all the other ones I’m forgetting.  Sure, for them it might be their second or third or fourth, but for me, this baby and this pregnancy is the first one I get to follow along with.  There is nothing more meaningful or magical than the introduction of a new life into our world, our families, our hearts. 
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photo by @playgroupie/Blogher '08

So join me in shouting from the roof tops: MY AMAZINGLY TALENTED AND BEAUTIFUL FRIEND MEGHAN is knocked up!  The fun begins and I can’t wait to follow along as she brings her third into the mix and retires her user name on every social media platform. 

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Congratulations, I love you, name your child after me, get plenty of rest, what’s wrong with the name Amy, eat right, it’s a perfectly great name, take your pre-natal vitamins, fine name the baby whatever you want.
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Oh, and get the Preparation-H BEFORE you need it.
What, TMI?
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xxoo
 

Cincy Chic’s Chef Series is back and better than ever!  A couple years ago, thanks to this series, Doug and I were introduced to the wonderful people and delicious food The EQ at The Party Source offers.  We’ve been regulars there ever since.  So I’m thrilled to give you all a heads up about these great evenings. 
 
Once a month for the next five months, Cincy Chic offers a sampling of EQ’s best of the best.  Not only do you get a wonderful meal alongside samplings of The Party Source’s favorite wine picks, but the chefs demo their techniques and offer some secrets along the way.  It’s dinner and movie and never disappoints!  The dates are:
 
* February 19th * March 19 * April 16 * May 14 * June 18 *
 
Each of these dates are Fridays and the class runs from 6:30-8:30pm
 

me heart Jean

The next one is Friday and Jean Strasser, one of my favorites, is the chef du jour.  The menu makes my mouth water just sitting here retyping, so I’m really looking forward to it:

Margaritas
Green Chile Pork Tamales
Red Chile Buffalo Stew with Cast Iron Honey cornbread
Chicken Chili with a Margarita Splash
Black Bean and Goat Cheese Chalupitas
Lime Cheesecake 

Yes, you had me at margartas.  I can speak from personal experience that Jean rocks Mexican cooking.  Check back soon for pics and my take on the evening – or better yet, come join the fun.  Go to The Party Source’s site to register – space is limited and it fills up fast, so don’t delay! 

Alas, all you moms out there baking cookies from scratch (show offs) and starching your kids’ undies (seek help immediately), the votes are in and sadly, you lost.  For I, Amy in OHio have captured the title this year.

How so you ask?  Three words: Yo Gabba Gabba. Ok, maybe they”re not actually words (smartie pants)…but I’ve scored big with the short girl nonetheless.

DJ Lance Rock and his crew are hitting Cincinnati in March and thanks  to their promotion team, I get to take P (and drag Doug) to the show.  As you can imagine, we’re pretty darn excited to see them all live and in person.  Ok, yes, most of them aren’t people – geez, you’re really a stickler for the details today reader. 

If your little people love them as much as my gal does Gabba will be in Cincinnati Saturday, March 20th for two shows: 2pm and 5pm.  You can find out more details and order your tickets here

And for one lucky reader, I have two tickets to the 5pm show on Saturday, March 20th.  Simply leave a comment here telling me who your favorite monster character is.  We’re gonna do this giveaway quickly, so I’m gonna draw the winner on my birthday – Tuesday, February 16th at 8:43 pm.  So enter soon!

And because its Valentine’s Day-eve and I didn’t shop for you yet, I’m gonna hip you to two other opportunities to enter for tickets.  Essentially TRIPLING your chances to win.  I know, I know, I’m a giver…Go to my buddies sites: MommyBits and ChefDruck for their giveaways!

So from our gang to yours – HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY and good luck!

 

Greater Cincinnati has been blanketed with another round of the white fluffy stuff.  We took advantage of the excuse to call in SNOWED!

Then…a mere sixteen hours later…

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Go ahead, GET LIPI!

lunchitpunchit.com

Digi-Scrapping Done Right

Purdy Pictures

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P9110252

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More Photos

Tweet Ya Later!

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LOSING IT IN CINCINNATI

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Why get so riled by the events of the world, you ask? Because…

"Becoming a mother makes you the mother of all children. From now on each wounded, abandoned, frightened child is yours. You live in the suffering mothers of every race and creed and weep with them. You long to comfort all who are desolate." Charlotte Gray
February 2010
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