P’s class has an honor system; each child has three pieces of “money” (referred to by P as ‘my monies’). If they follow directions, keep their listening ears on and cooperate with their friends and teachers, they hold on to their money and are rewarded with treats at the end of the day as they are departing. If they don’t however, one piece of ‘my monies’ is taken and a note is left for the parent. This continues for each infraction until your monies are gone and any hope of sugar is a distant memory.
So I bet you’re wondering how my little P does in this toddler version of high finance? I don’t take the critcism of my little lovebug lightly, so let’s just say that if you think this economy is rough for you and your family, you have no idea the great depression that is P’s preschool portfolio. At one point last week, P had to solicit some cash from a loanshark just to cover her nut for lunch. Believe me when I tell you there is nothing sadder than a three foot tall panhandler.
But today P held on to ALL of her monies and I couldn’t be more proud. To celebrate, in addition to the three smarties she received (hello? smarties? You can’t blame the kid for lacking focus), I gave her a sucker I’ve had stowed away for just this occassion. And the ride home was a rousing victory parade for her. It was all very exciting.
As I was pulling to the light at our exit, I noticed she seemed to be “painting” something with her celebratory sucker. I tilted my rearview mirror and witnessed she was taking the sucker, touching the bottom of her SHOE and then putting it back in her mouth. Like the shoe was serving some kind of fondue. After a couple of dryheaves, the following exchange occurred:
ME: P, stop doing that.
P (oblivious to the eww): Wha?
ME: Give me that dirty sucker, you can’t have it anymore young lady.
P (taking one last lick): Why mommy?
ME: Because you touched your dirty shoe and now the sucker is dirty and gross and disgusting.
P (whimpering a little): But Mommy my shoes are so cute.
And apparently quite tasty too.