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CityMama has challenged us all to face our demons and exercise them.  She’s running a contest and the prize is sweeeeettt, so sweet, I’m willing to share something that until today was known to me alone.

A few years ago, in an attempt to strengthen my core and connect with my inner self, I purchased a yoga dvd.  Nothing remarkable there, I have roughly fifty exercise dvds or tapes, collecting dust and holding up table legs.  But this dvd was going to change my life – it said so right there in the description, duh. 

I waited a few weeks to try it out – must have the right clothes, the right state of mind and the will to get the hell off the couch – but on a gloomy Saturday, when nothing was on TV, I decided this was to be my zen moment.  And the first day of the rest of my new, healthy life began.

Popped that dvd in and I was off.  The first couple moves were a snap.  (I could show off and call them asanas, but who am I?  Ashley Judd or something?)  I was good – so good in fact that I thought for moment, why did I get the beginner dvd?  I could totally have done the advanced version – I was indeed ready for beyond the basics

Then that pose – you know the one – where you place one of your feet high up on the opposite thigh and you stand there waiting for clarity?  The instructor (aka perkymissfancypants) warned that this was a complicated one – one to work towards eventually.  Yeah, well missfancypants, I was in the military, don’t you tell me a thing or two about so and so.  Bubbling with confidence, I “achieved” the pose and calmly closed my eyes.  Sure, I’ll admit the balancing was harder on this one, that must mean it’s working and I just needed to focus more. 

Ah, much better I’m totally getting this.  “I am so good” was running through my head just before I heard the cat’s first screach.   Somehow, in my clarity some basic function had stopped in my brain and I was unaware that I was tilting falling over.  And the poor cat, too stupid or too mesmerized by MY stupidity, just sat there and let me fall on her. 

Sure I had killed her – that’s a bit of impact for a 12 pound cat, no? – we rushed her to the emergency vet.  Luckily, the only thing injured was her pride and she had wasted at least two of her nine lives.  I lied my ass off to the vet on what really happened, all the while the cat giving me one of those looks that only a cat you just fell on top of can give you.   You know the one that alerts you’ll be needing a new pillow case and comforter soon, meow, meow, because this kind of aggression can not go unanswered. 

The first day of the rest of my healthy life was not a success.  Full of guilt, the cat got a can of tuna that evening and I haven’t seen that dvd since. 

Namaste to you all.

 

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LOSING IT IN CINCINNATI

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Why get so riled by the events of the world, you ask? Because…

"Becoming a mother makes you the mother of all children. From now on each wounded, abandoned, frightened child is yours. You live in the suffering mothers of every race and creed and weep with them. You long to comfort all who are desolate." Charlotte Gray
May 2008
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